The Seven Deadly Sins of Sports

Navigating the Strange Moral Universe of American Athletics

This article was originally published on CNN.

Being a sports fan these days almost requires a law degree. What with all the legal troubles of athletes, who can keep up?

Lawyers certainly have the edge in the fantasy leagues. The rest of us keep one on retainer.

Still, even they might have some difficulty predicting outcomes. Will the Yankees’ Alex Rodriguez actually be suspended? Will Riley Cooper be cut from the Philadelphia Eagles? Will Johnny Manziel lose his NCAA eligibility?

With this in mind, my crack team of researchers has produced a list of Seven Deadly Sins in Sports and the punishments you can expect to be meted out to the athletes in question.

Before we get to the list, however, there are a couple of principles you must bear in mind to make sense of crime and the sporting landscape:

The First Principle is that there are no principles.

This will become obvious as we go along, but it is nonetheless critical that you understand this if you want to win that coveted league championship.

The Second Principle is that the athlete stands a better chance of weathering controversy if he is really good.

Albert Speer and Werner von Braun were both members of Germany’s SS and both used slave labor. But Speer was an architect. America didn’t need another architect and Speer got 20 years in prison.

Von Braun, on the other hand, was a rocket scientist. Now here was a franchise player. Von Braun received fame, fortune and a lot of buildings named after him.

So it is in sports. Get it?

Now, to the list… Click here to read the full article.