Imagining Bill Belichick Analyzing Film of the Left’s Strategy

Published on February 2, 2017.

New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick was the man I’d been looking for. I needed keen insights, and only he could provide them. Belichick was famous for analyzing the game film of opposing teams, identifying their strategies and beating them. His team, once again, was about to play in the Super Bowl. My mission was delicate. Who else could I rely on?

So I collected film of the American Cultural Left’s recent games on the Washington Mall, on various news outlets, and in the halls of government, put them in an envelope and took it straight to Belichick’s office in Foxboro, Mass.

At first Belichick complained of being busy, what with a Super Bowl and all. But seeing the obvious importance of this, he made time for me. With a cigar in one hand and a remote control in the other, he broke down the film with his usual attention to detail. Although he was hard to understand at times — he mumbles a lot — he missed nothing. The man is truly a genius.

Deftly maneuvering a laser pointer, he identified five primary strategies to which the Left defaults in any game where playing by the rules isn’t enough to win:

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Image Credit: Flickr

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